In God's Time..

In God's Time....
My story is one of lots of tears, prayers, joy and faith. I know there is a GOD and my son is the living testament that he does answer prayers, in HIS TIME. That's right, his time not ours.

In the beginning...
Brooks and I got married in October 2003 and started activily seeking to have a child in early 2005. I was diagnosed with polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS) in 2001 and was told that I wouldn't have any problems conceiving. Well, they didn't know that much about PCOS back then and to my dismay it was hard to conceive on my own. Brooks and I sought treatment for infertility in early 2005. He was tested and he was fine. It was my body that was challenged. We tried everything "humanly" possible to get pregnant. I took Clomid and gluchopage like a good little girl and tested my body basal temperature every month to see if I had ovulated. Every month disappointed. I was going through this journey with a friend which was nice. I prayed and prayed and believed for her to have her own child and it worked. She got pregnant and had her first son. SO what was wrong with me? In fact, I prayed so hard she got pregnant again and her two children are 14 months apart?

I realized in the fall of 2007 that there wasn't anything "wrong" with me. In fact, I was trying to play God instead of giving it to him. So, that's what I did. I gave it to him and I thanked him for my child when he was ready to give him/her to me. In the meantime, I focused on getting myself healthy. I had the lap-band surgery in September 2007. I was thrilled. I lost 55lbs in 5 months and I felt great. My goal was to loose 100lbs by this November and I was half way there. Brooks and I went to visit his mother in Florida in February and had a blast. I played in the ocean and was ready to "live". I felt like I had watched others live for the past 3 years and I was ready to play along. In early March, I got sick. Pukey sick. Which is not good for lap band patients. I couldn't stop wretching. We went to my doctor in Nashville and he kept me overnight to make sure my band didn't slip. They ran every test they could and found nothing.

Now, Brooks and I had been trying for 3years and I was getting used to the fact it was going to be just he and I. Well, God does have a sense of humor. Having PCOS means you have irregular periods, so I was used to being late. However, since I had the surgery and lost the weight Aunt Flow came like clock work on the 3rd of every month. Hmm.. March 3, 2008 came and went with no Aunt Flow. Around the 8th day late or so I got curious. So I took a test. In fact, I took 4 home pregnancy tests. Three were negative, one turned positive after 6 hours of sitting there. Could it be???? So I made an appt with the doctor to see what was going on. March 18, 2008. I went to the doctor by myself because we'd been down this road before of me getting excited and it being negative. Brooks didn't think I was pregnant and I don't think he could handle me crying again. My mom came late because I did need support in case it was a tubal or something because I couldn't bear the the thought of that. So I go in and pee in the cup like a good girl and go into the room. The nurse came in no kidding 2 minutes later and asked me how many tests I had taken. I told her 4 and she said "Cause, girl you're pregnant?" The test isn't even done and it showed two lines. WHAT??? Don't lie to me, Don't lie to me was my statement, I believe. She had to hold me up. I was shaking and crying. She had to calm me down. So here comes the fun part. I get to call my husband and tell him he's a daddy. 2:35p.m. I believe was the time of the call. He didn't believe me, of course. I asked him to come to the doctors office because they wanted to do a ultrasound. According to my first day of my last period, I was 6wks and 4days pregnant and they wanted to do an ultrasound to check for a heartbeat. My mom came late with my nephews, Ethan and Isaac, and I came out with the tests. She didn't believe me either. WE cried and hugged. Thank Goodness, we were the only ones in the dr.'s office at the time. Brooks made it to the dr's office and we waited and waited. The dr had been called to do a c-section so we had to go back the next day.

The verdict:

We (Brooks and my mom were there too) went back the next day and they did the ultrasound and did not see anything. They said that they should see something at 6wks. "What do you mean you don't see anything?" The dr (who was not my OB/GYN, mine was on vacation) started throwing around the words tubal pregnancy and possible miscarriage. I was TERRIFIED and I couldn't stop the tears from rolling down my face!! They sent me to get blood work and I went home and layed in the bed all day waiting to hear the verdict. They had to check my hCg levels to make sure they were doubling like they were supposed to. Never in my life had I wanted something so badly and had it and was TERRIFED that it could be taken away from me. It wasn't until the next day that I found out everything was OK. It turned out that I ovulated late and I was really 4wks and 4days pregnant. That is why they didn't see anything. WHEW!!!! Needless to say, I switched doctors. I didn't feel comfortable with this doctor and his bedside manner. Now we go to Dr. Raiford, whom I love dearly. Who I think is definitely a gift from God. She quickly picked up on the fact that my progestrone levels were low and put me on a suppository to ensure my levels sustained until the placenta took over. Good call doc. See, she is a blessing from God.

In God's time:

Anywho, fast forward

Today is July 21, 2008 and I am 22wks and 3d pregnant. We are having a boy and I couldn't be more excited. We have no name yet for the baby except Zephryn. That is his father's sick way of torturing me I think. He got the name from Star Trek. Zephryn Cochran was the first to discover warp speed on the show. He was also a drunk. Lovely huh? I think I am going to have to knock Brooks out when the nurse comes with the birth certificate to ensure that his name is not officially Zephryn. But, it's his kid too right? We've had a few scares in the past 22wks but I know now that my child is going to make it and he is an annoited child. I truly think that my son will be born in November 2008 to live out a plan that God has for him in the years to come. I believe he will be a answer to a prayer for someone and that is why God allowed Brooks and I to have him now. It was when I truly understood that principle that I got pregnant. My prayer daily for my son is that he would have a purpose and to know that purpose. I pray for his wife. Yes, his wife. She may not even be conceived yet. But I pray that her family bring her up in a good christian home and that she will love my son. My mom and dad did that for me and I am truly blessed to have Brooks as my lifemate. He and I have known each other since I was 14 and he was 15 at a church in Bristol, TN. Who meets there lifemate at 14? I didn't know it at the time but I did. He is a truly special person and loves me (no matter how hard it is right now with the pregnancy hormones) with all his heart. He has a hard time verbalizing but I know. The other night he thought I was asleep and he curled up around me and rubbed my belly, which he never does. It was the sweetest moment. Aww. I love this man.
I guess that will have to do it for tonight. I should go to bed. We'll learn more about the Wonderful World of the Mattox Family tomorrow.
Nite kids!